One for Mary :-)

Here is my closer thought: Heavenly Father NEVER gives us more then we can handle. Is that short enough to count as one of yours Mares?

been a long time since I posted. Here is my thought.
What is THE most important thing in your life? for me it is my family. leave a comment with yours, I am interested in your responses.

Service is love

Today we were sitting in church and Don was rubbing my back. I had some tense places and it felt really good. I told him he was performing an act of service. He said he was just being loving. But, isn't that what service is? Love.

The Kitchen Is Closed

Last night we were over at Todd and Amy's. It was starting to get late but Oliver was giving signs that he wanted to eat something. He went in the kitchen and opened the fridge door. Amy went and closed the fridge door. She said, "The kitchen is closed." I laughed and said, "Your kitchen gets closed?" Amy said, "I promised myself I would never say that."

The thing I promised myself as a kid I would never say as a parent was, "We cannot afford that." Now, tell me, did I ever say that as a parent?

Grateful for prompting

Yesterday morning, I went to the temple with an Elder from the North Star Ward who was receiving his own endowment. When I came home, I parked on the street rather than deal with the dog and the gate, got the mail and came in the house. I decided to call one of my daughters. I looked for my phone. It was in my purse which wasn't with the mail or the temple bag. I went back and looked for it in the car. We don't want to leave anything valuable in the car on the street as there have been some recent break-ins in our neighborhood, four on our street alone which I am aware of. It wasn't in the car. I double checked in the house and still didn't find it. I tried to think back over every step because I was baffled about what had happened to it. I went back outside and looked by the mailbox. It was in the gutter by the mailbox and not easily seen except from the street. It would have been a disaster if someone nefarious would have found it. Not only did it have my ID in it but also my credit cards and worse of all, the keys to both cars and the house. I felt very grateful that I started to search for my phone the second I was in the house or I might not have missed it until it was too late.

Triumphant Evening

Next Sunday ends our service as Inner City Missionaries. Tonight we got to attend an event which, though only peripherally involved, gives us great satisfaction.

Last year as we began our mission, we learned that a family was seeking help as a sub for Santa. Mandie's ward was their sub. Someone told me that the parents were not members but they attended church as a family regularly. The story is thus: the mother had been previously married in Mexico. She had two children in that marriage. They are now teenagers. She was living with the father of her youngest child but they were not married because she was not divorced from her first husband so they could not be baptized.

The father also has an interesting history. He grew up in California and had been involved in gangs and has served time in prison for his activities. He has a kind of hooded eye look that makes you think of a stereotypical gang member in the movies but he is actually very nice. After meeting his future wife, he decided he didn't want that life for her kids (and eventually their kids), so they came to Utah about five years ago.

The wife had a sister who was a member of the church. She was dying. The wife promised to take her three kids and raise them as her own. The sister asked her to promise to take her kids to church. She did and she became converted over the years. Her own children were baptized and a year ago, her partner began attending church. He also become converted. Enter some senior missionaries who ended their service before we began. They got some legal help for the family and the divorce became possible.

Tonight, they were married and then they were baptized. It was wonderful to see this happen.

motherhood

Motherhood is sacred. I know that. This isn't the first time I've become a mother. But I think it is because I have older children that I can kinda see where this whole motherhood thing is going. It seems like I'm taking a little more time to enjoy this precious new life than I have either of the others. Maybe I'm just getting old. Or maybe with age comes understanding and with that understanding comes different choices. I understand a lot better now that the Lord's really in charge. I've known that all my life, this really hasn't changed, but its like each new life lesson reaffirms it in new ways. I also understand that my body is a lot more precious than I had previously realized and requires a more careful assessment of how I treat it. Garbage in Garbage out - its really true. I had my newest little one without the use of pain drugs. Maybe this is why my motherhood feels different. I have a friend that shared with me that she feels in order to bring a new life here, we must pass close to the veil and pick that precious one up. She thinks it is why our body is so uncomfortable when we are in the transition and final stages of labor. Perhaps that is why my motherhood feels so much more. Not more of any one thing, just more. And most of all I feel more love from the Lord.

Tribute to Vet

The city of Midland does a cool thing when a vet returns from the war zone. They greet him at the airport with flags and hand clappers and then escort him into the city with a motorcycle brigade flying flags and a police export. They take wounded vets on a fishing trip. I got involved in greeting a vet at the airport while I was waiting for my plane.

Here is the vet, a marine, at the bottom of the escalator. The citizens, mostly dressed in red, white, and blue, each have a flag and clappers on each side of the aisle he will walk down.

This is the other end he is walking towards with a "We Support Our Troops" at the end.

The Vet hugged each woman on both sides and shook hands with each man. It was really special to be part of it.

Family Lessons

Family is sooo important to me. I love creating, feeding, fostering, and enjoying my family relationships. This makes it difficult when families are torn, divided, or otherwise injured, making me feel injured in the process. I'm not saying they should make their decisions with me in mind, but rather that I hurt along with them. It is hard when they understand some things so well, making careful choices of what to allow into their lives, but don't know that they push away so many helpful things that they're really loosing out from what their missing. I struggle...

Dedicating our home

I started to compose a post about dedicating our home on May 9 but did not finish the post and publish it until later. It published as if the date were May 9. I invite you to go back and read it.

A Great Lesson in Customer Service

I have often touted how I love working for jetBlue. I love the atmosphere and the people, but last night I had an experience that made me love them even more. Usually as a standby customer/crewmember, you kinda get the bottom of the barrel. We know we're standby and only get to fly when there's space and we usually get treated that way. But last night, the crewmember who helped us get squared away for tonight, really hit it on the head. She was outstanding to the customers. I felt proud to work with someone who resembled in person what I try to do on the phone. When the customers were on the plane, she sighed a great sigh of relief - I felt worried for those of us left. It became clear we weren't going to make it and then the announcement came. She called us all up to the podium, explained the situation and our options and proceeded to help us out. There she was again, nice and professional - with a smile on her face. Its amazing how great it feels to be treated like a person! At 1230am I got a phone call from her. There had been a problem moving my family over, though I made it. She called me, a crewmember flying standby, to let me know they are aware of the issue, and she will be working tonight to fix it and make sure all is right. It blew me away! She didn't have to do that for me, but she did. It reinforced all of those things we need as humans - to be heard and cared about, even after we're no longer a pressing voice in someone's face. I appreciate her so much and it would bring me back to jetBlue - even more so now than before. Caring is such an underestimated value today - I just had to share. It really is out there.

Words

I have often thought about how powerful words can be. I've written poetry, and found ways to use words to be very descriptive or convincing. but lately I have been noticing just how powerful they are. They can invoke the deepest feelings of love, joy and peace, lift the soul, comfort the weary, give hope, share humor and do many other wonderful things. but they can also, hurt feelings, damage relationships, change the future, tear apart families and create war. and many things in between. Once you have said something, you cannot UN-say it. You can not control how it will be received, interpreted, or effect those that hear it. speaking out laud is permanent, in that respect. This got me thinking. "Am I thinking about, and choosing my words with care?". Or do I just spit them out recklessly, not paying attention to their effect. I am now trying to think about and chose my words wisely.

O Say, What Is Truth?

I read this on the personal blog of Matthew Kastendieck, one of my blog followers. I couldn't have said it any better, and it really impressed me, as it's exactly how I feel:

D&C 93:24 says: “And truth is knowledge of things as they are, and as they were, and as they are to come;”

This grand principle is not generally known among mankind. In grade eleven, I had a teacher who defined truth as the accepted beliefs of how things are. She talked about how truth was subject to change as mankind learned more about the universe around them.

If this is the case, what principles ought we to build our lives upon? According to this definition, even truth cannot be relied upon because it may change.

I am grateful for the knowledge that truth is unchanging; it is more than a belief or opinion. While we do not have a perfect knowledge of the truth, God does. That is why we can trust in Him to guide us in this life.

In the tempest of changing opinions and beliefs in the world around us, we can always look to the lighthouse of God’s word, which guides us according to the absolute and unchanging truth.

The Lord's University

In a talk presented by our Stake President, he spoke of the Lord's University. It being the temple. That church and scriptures, seminary, etc are kind of like elementary, middle, and high school. They are very helpful and send you in the right direction, but if you really want to know what to do, how to do it, and everything else you have to go to the University. It will really give you direction in your life.

something I am continually learning....

To obtain knowledge and wisdom, requires patiance and faith.

This is just a friendly reminder to all who read and post here. This is not a Forum for discussion, a place for debate, advice or even a place to teach. If teaching takes place it is my hope that it would be because the reader seeks it personally. This is a place to simply share. I realize many have different views, beliefs and faith, and I want everyone to feel they can post here and not worry about having to defend or explain themselves. Appropriate comments on others posts would be along the lines of "thank you for sharing", "good luck" or "if you want to discuss that more contact me personally."

friendship

I know its been a while. I have learned lots of things. but the one that is coming to mind at present is one I am still learning. that is friendship. I am learning from my dear friend... how to be a friend. Having so many sisters that I have always been extreemly close to has kind of handicaped me when it comes to having a friend who does not have to still love me tomorrow and be my friend even if we have nothing in common. It actually is very different to have a friend who you are not related to. But is SO fun and incredibly rewarding.

Dedicating Home

Since none of the family were able to join us when we dedicated our home, I wanted to share some thoughts about that experience.

We had long thought of dedicating our home. Typically, the church does not dedicate a building until it is paid for and, as far as I know, all churches built currently are completely paid for upon completion. That is not reasonable for our home because it would never be dedicated under that criteria. We felt there were certain things we needed to do to make the home ours before we dedicated it: i.e. hang up pictures, make our doll display, etc.

Then I read about the Chilean Earthquake. A few days before the earthquake, a mission president's wife felt impressed that they should visit all of the missionaries and dedicate their apartments and have each companionship prepare a 72 hour kit. They did this. When the earthquake struck, all missionaries were safe, their apartments were relatively undamaged, and the missionaries were calm and prepared and able to help others.

I am persuaded that Heavenly Father will respect the freedom of choice he has given us even to our own destruction. The way we tell him we want his involvement and guidance in our lives is through prayer. If we don't pray about it, it is in effect saying, "This I want to do myself without your involvement." He will respect that.

I felt strongly that I wanted his help in protecting our house come what may in the future. Don thought sometime about what he wanted blessed in the house and we discussed it together. When he said the prayer, I felt the spirit very strongly. It was a manifestation of his priesthood power which was very sweet.

Latino Mormons

This week a friend at work sought me out to tell me he had attended his first Mormon church service. He said he was interested, even though he is Catholic. He was very surprised when I told him, "There are a lot of ex-Catholics in the Mormon Church."  In response to his questions, I pointed out that there are more native Spanish speakers in the Mormon Church than native English speakers, and that nearly all of them are converts from Catholicism. Blew his mind. I didn't realize it until later, but it may be that half the members of the Church are ex-Catholics.

My thoughts of the past two weeks.

I have had alot rolling around in my head and heart for the past couple of weeks. On the 15th I went to St. Louis for a army thing. I spent most of my free time with my friend. One night we were having a discussion about our different beliefs. She is Wiccian, they worship nature and they have many goddesses. They are a very down to earth religion. We hit of few topics that we feel very differently on. I think that we were able to discuss them fairly. But while we were talking her Husband texed her with a scripture that he had pulled out of the Book of Mormon. I didn't have a ready answer because I didn't know the context. I was able to explain it to her after a little research and talking to Ben. Honestly I think she got sick of me trying to explain myself. I was just trying to figure it out for myself. But that whole experience made me think. Then on Sunday in YW we had a lesson about being prepared so we can answer peoples questions. I realized that I had been neglecting my personal scripture study and prayers. I didn't have the spirit, I didn't know what I was talking about. I felt like I had missed so many recent experiences just by not being prepared to learn or grow.

Heroes and Villains

Todd and I watched the new Sherlock Holmes movie last night, and afterward had a discussion about heroes and villains. We determined that what makes the difference in whether a character becomes a hero or a villain is the choice they make when faced with trial. Batman saw his parents murdered. Spider-man couldn't prevent his uncle from being killed. The Penguin was bullied as a child, and an outcast in his family. Darth Vader was tempted by the Dark Side. In this life, we all have or will face some kind of trial, and each of us has a choice to become a Hero or a Villain. We can choose to let it become part of us, turning us angry, bitter, resentful, damaging our spirit, or we can chose to learn from it, and become more loving, empathetic, humble and charitable. The thing that makes a difference in real life is realizing that the choice is ours.

I know this by experience. As a teen, I received this as personal revelation to me during a particular trial. Todd is now faced with this choice as he recovers from his stroke, and I'm grateful that he's making the right choice. He is my Hero.

this was more of a reminder to me then a lesson, but I had been thinking about the Earth. and noticing that we (people) tend to complain about it an awful lot. but the thought accrued to me. Why are you complaining about the weather, or the earth quakes or volcanoes? the earth does so much for us, and has also done so much for mankind for so long, isn't she entitled to shake under pressure, or hick up and burp every once in a while. and the weather is a blessing. Even if it snows in May and June, that is water, that she can use. I am so greatful for this beautiful planet and all her wonders. In church we sang "All creatures of our God and King", and the last verse really hit the lesson home for me. "dear mother Earth who day by day, unfoldest blessings on our way, alleluia! alleluia! the flowers and fruite tghat in the grow, let them his glory also show, Alleluia! Alleluia! Alleluia! Oh, praise him! Alleluia! I thank God for this glorious Earth he created, and thank the Earth for a job continually well done.

little late

This week I learned the difference between loving (and being loved) blindly and unconditionally.

The second one is a lot more honest.

Family

This week I realized again how important family is and how much i love mine. We took a last minute much needed little trip, just me Dev and the girl.s. today before leaving to come home we visited the St George Temple. It was beautiful, and bright! but as we were leaving this old man walked past us, I was bending down talking to Lily who's feelings were hurt because she got in trouble for not listening. As he approached he was obvoiusly looking at my girls and noticing how incredibly cute they are! (yeah I'm not biast), he said to me "do you have any idea how blessed you are?" and I replied "incredibly so", he then said "Good, don't ever forget it." he never even really stoped walking, just said that literally in passing, and then he was gone. My Husband and Girls are the best things I have, I don't really put alot of worth into the possesions I have, I don't care to, my house is ok at best, same with everything I have. but my family really means the most to me out of everything I have. I am incredibly blest!

An instument in the Lord's hand

I just had a glorious moment where I feel I am being used as an instrument in the Lord's hand. Tonight I was reading in the Ensign about helping Brazilians grow vegetables to improve their diet and suddenly something came together for me in how to help the Haitians. The following is taken from the email I just sent to the organizer of the trip we didn't get to take to Haiti.

I believe this evening I was blessed with a visionary moment. I am a gardener and am trying the 12 foot garden method where you build your own soil. I was looking on line to see what I should get for my soil. The site I went to suggested compost and mentioned vermicompost as being the best soil but it is expensive--that is unless you raise your own which I do. Vermicompost is made by worms eating the parts of fruits and vegetables that humans cannot eat. I have a plastic tub 15 1/2" X 23" X 4". My husband computes that a container that size would make one cubic foot of soil per month.

The size is not important and even the container is not important--except worms would eat cardboard and also the moisture would destroy cardboard. I feed my worms about every two weeks although I could feed them more often if I had more space for more worms. They do not even consume a tidbit of the vegetable waste I have and what I have is mostly the ends off things like carrots, cores of apples, etc. I make the worm beds out of torn up newspaper. In other words, the soil is basically made out of garbage that probably even Haitians throw away.

Every two weeks, the worms have reproduced enough and eaten enough that I am able to remove half the soil and worms. In the winter, I don't know what to do with all of it. Haiti has no winter. If a million families in Haiti were to do this with one small container this size, they could produce a million cubic feet a month of the richest topsoil in the world. What a quick solution to their topsoil problem.

The soil grows vegetables and fruits in abundance, the soil could be sold, the worms could be sold. I've got worms I'll donate to get it going. I speak French and have been studying Haitian Creole for about four years (my husband does also). We even have current passports now--that was what kept us from going with the Utah task force. I would be glad to go and teach the people. I have made application to work for Jet Blue but have not yet heard if I have been hired. If I am, my husband and I will be able to fly into the Dominican Republic at a price we can afford and go to Haiti ourselves. (We served a temple mission in the Dominican Republic and know many Haitians personally.)

Anyway, we wanted to share this visionary message with someone we think can also catch the vision. This will provide food, soil, and money to Haitians with virtually no cost to anyone and it is on-going and sustainable. They just need some worms and vegetable seeds to get get going which is easy enough to provide. What could be more beautiful?

What can I say? I am excited. I feel I have been inspired.

On the Lord's Errand

Today as they were talking about Moses and the numerous plagues inflicted on the Egyptians, I thought about parallels with the sons on Nephi when they went to get the golden plates. I tend to think that when I am on the Lord's errand, the path will be made smooth and the task easy to accomplish. The scriptural accounts sure don't teach us this. Perhaps that is why parenthood is so difficult. It is the Lord's errand.

What have you learned this week?

what I have been learning and thinking about this week is, when you truly love someone, you put their needs before your own, you don't try to change them. I look at the life of a mother with her new born baby. Baby cnnot do anything for herself, and the mother takes care of her baby, before she feeds herself or sleeps or claens herself. That is true love. Not saying we should all abandon ourselves because i think we need to love our selves too, truly. But this type of love can exist in our other relationships. So thankful for the many people in my life that have loved and continue to love me.

I will go first....

I have been thinking a lot about the responsibility of parenthood. This weekend was General confrence, and so many of the speakers chose topics associated with parenting. I felt how much the Lord really cares for His little ones. The responsibility is so great because they are not just mine. But they are His.
For now if you would like to share just leave it as a comment, I am still working out the details of how to make this work best. I would like to hear from everyone.